I wish I could tell you that I am spiritually strong. I wish I could say that you can always see the evidence of Jesus in my life. But I can't.
Telling a lie never really made it all better, and sometimes the ugly truth can actually be beautiful.
So here's my truth.
I am the one 'prone to wander' and fail. I disobey. I do not live surrendered to God. I listen to, believe and, at times, even invite in all the lies. How I need His truth. There is no good in me, no strength to hold back the darkness of my own sin. I am lost.
I need Jesus. I need Him, always. I need saving, every. single. day. Even though most of the time I don't like admitting to that. I'd rather appear holy without any help, thank you very much.
And that is how I know I'll never make it without Jesus.
Send out Your light and Your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to Your holy hill and to Your dwelling.
Psalm 43:3
Psalm 43:3
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 4:6
In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1: 4-5
Jesus, help me. Without You, I'm just collecting a pile of filthy rags to represent my life. Help me to be obedient and slay my flesh. I admit I don't want to be obedient. That's why I need Your grace. Thank You for Your light and truth. Thank You for shining out of my darkness.
ps. Go listen to the song that I can't seem to stop listening to, 'Oh Great God, Give Us Rest by David Crowder Band. It's brought me much hope and comfort lately. Listen and worship :)
Wow, Brea. You're not alone. I've come to realize in the past year that struggling in our faith is normal. But that doesn't make it easier. Too often, though, I see my strugglings, but I honestly don't want to do anything about it. My anger at God, my own rebellious heart, my will to NOT be dependent on Anyone....pollution. But it's a pollution that taste justifiable in my mouth so much of the time. We both need Him so much.
ReplyDeleteAmen, sister friend.
ReplyDelete