Motherhood - Weeks 26 & 27

"Yes, let this moment be just as You intend it! Yes, Your will be done and not mine! 

Yes ---You propose, ask for my life an eternity to love --- and I say Yes! This is the year 

of yes, to look in the mirror and say, "Yes, He made you this way and it is very good! Yes, 

you can try! Yes, be creative! Yes, laugh and yes, give it a whirl, and yes, 

it's really okay, don't be afraid!"

-Ann Voskamp from When You Can't Figure Out What the Answer Should Be

Looking at these pictures from the last couple weeks feels, in many ways, surreal. There's no denying this pregnancy now, and I wouldn't want to. It's just strange to catch a glimpse of my silhouette in the mirror these days. Strange to see the changes and think about what they really mean. 

 Is that me, with my belly all curved out because of our growing miracle inside?
Have I really been given the adventurous + delightful + sobering title of mother?
Can Jesus equip me to bear this child, not only now, but every moment that I will be entrusted with him?

The answer to all of these is, of course, Yes.

Yes. That word. Just three small letters but they come with so much fullness.  I pray to humbly accept any Yes that Jesus gives. More than that, I pray I trust that He will never give me a No without opening me up to some known or, perhaps at the time unknown, Yes. It's about His will and not my own. We all know that beloved verse in Romans 8 that reveals the promise of Him working all things for good. His good. Our good. And in the seasons of No (for they will eventually come) I can cling to that familiar truth; genuinely taste and see that He is still good.

With all the excitement of knowing I'm a mother, comes with it a weighted reality. I'll admit to my trepidation when I think about what this new season of life will contain. There are many questions and fears and nervous butterflies. But….Jesus speaks and He says, Yes.
Yes, My grace is sufficient. 
Yes, there is great joy ahead. 
Yes, with Me you. can. do. this.

And for now, I'm saying simply amen to all the glory to be found in that. The glory of grace and kindness and Yes in Christ Jesus.

Thank you, Father

"For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him. 

That is why through Him that we utter our 

Amen to God for His glory."

2 Corinthians 1:20

Spring Updates

Our time has mostly consisted of dust and nails these days. Almost every room in the house is cluttered, in need of a deep cleaning, and driving me a little crazy. BUT…as Jonathan has to remind me fairly often, we're making progress! Pickle's room is coming along nicely and we've even been able to get some yard work done. Winter was hard on our place and now that Spring has arrived we're able to take strides in the wonderful world of DIY home improvement. If you've ever had to live in a house that's also being renovated, you know how it is:

 First you're all, "Yay! We're finally starting on projects! This is going to look great!" And then after about a week or so, you find yourself wandering through the wasteland of dust and bare drywall, rending your clothes in mourning, and saying, "When will it end?! Woe is me and all the disaster that has befallen us!" (Maybe that's a bit dramatic, but seriously…that may or may have not been me these past few weeks. We'll just blame the pregnancy hormones and call it a day, ok? Ok.) 

ANYway…all that to say, I'm super thankful for my hard working husband. This guy works three days of twelve hour shifts and then gets up and starts working just as hard on our home when he's off. Is he a superhero or what?

Poor Sadie…she's had to stay in her room a lot lately because of the renovations.

{preggo update}

In these pictures, me + Pickle are at 24 and 25 weeks. Where has the time gone?! The weeks are really flying by now and I kinda feel like I'm holding on for the ride. It's thrilling and a little scary to say the least. 

Pickle is doing great! We got to see him on an ultrasound this week and he was being extra photogenic. He grabbed his feet, wiggled a toe, sucked his thumb and overall acted adorable. I think I could watch him all day. We're humbly grateful to Jesus that he is healthy and developing normally, it's something that I strive to not take for granted. As for me, I'm also doing very well. Besides the typical aches and frustrations that go along with this stage of pregnancy, there's really nothing to report. I may get tired sooner, be a little more emotional, and have some trouble sleeping but it's been nothing out the norm for this pregnant mama. Although I will say that I'm starting to struggle with the whole 'body image change' thing. I'm getting bigger! And as anyone knows that brings out insecurities. 

Some days my attitude is:

 "Oh, look at my beautiful pregnant body! It's carrying my son and I'm so proud! Look at what my body is capable of!" 

And other days, I'm all: 

"You mean I'm gonna be bigger than this?! I feel like hot air balloon already! But, Jonathan, I feel ugly….are you sure you still like me? But really, DO YOU?" (He's always quick to assure me that he most certainly does and then I usually cry it out and we move on).

 Really I believe that the remedy for 'not feeling beautiful' is calling it out to yourself as the sin that is; not that I'm perfect at it, but I'm trying! And having the loving support of my Heavenly Father, husband, friends + family makes all the difference in the world. My sisters and girlfriends have over and over have refrained from the typical "You're getting SO big!" (Which is a harmless and true statement, but can be hurtful to a pregnant woman. Trust me.) And have instead, said things like, "You're so beautiful! Don't ever think you're not pretty, 'cause you are! Pregnancy looks so cute on you!" They may be small statements but they've really encouraged me and gave me confidence. Oh, and a quick shoutout to my sister Beth for letting me borrow some of her maternity clothes. I absolutely adore this striped shirt and the way it shows off Pickle. Thanks, Sissy! 

Week 24

Week 25

And let me just say how thrilled I am about Spring being here! Can I get an 'amen'? We're enjoying the fresh breezes, drinking coffee on slow mornings together, and the deliciously beautiful sunlight. Praise God for this change of season! It's been such a relief from the very harsh winter we experienced. 

So there you are, a not-so-little blog post to give you an update on Jonathan & me + Pickle. This stage of life for us may be a little hectic and stressful, but it's good. We're very busy this month and the next with house renovations and travels. We have trips planned to Tennessee, Illinois, and Maine (yay!). Which also means that this blog might not get updated as much as I would like, but thanks for following along anyway! 

ps. A little peek at a new project I'm working

on currently and so excited about. Can't wait 

to share more! 

Just a Little Letter

Dear Pickle,

It's been a little too long since I wrote you a letter and a lot has happened! For one, Spring is arriving around here and that means I'm getting to wear fun new clothes that show you off. I love that you make my tummy stick out much further now. I'll admit it's weird to see myself in the mirror sometimes, but I love that you're the reason I look so different. Me and your Dad registered for you a couple weeks ago. We picked out all kinds of stuff, just for you! Things like blankets, clothes, lotion, a stroller, a crib and another teddy bear. Because we just know you're gonna love bears :) We have a trip planned at the end of the month to take you down to Tennessee for your very first baby shower. Sweet Aunt Mel and Aunt Beth are planning and putting it all together and we can't wait to celebrate you in that way! Your dad has been working very hard on your room these past few days. It's a messy, dirty, frustrating job but he just keeping working and working on it; I'm so proud of him. And speaking of your dad, he really can't wait to meet you. He watches when you kick out my stomach and says he wants to hold you now, that he's tired of waiting. I tell him you'll be here soon enough, and I love how excited he is over you. I tear up when I think of actually meeting you face to face, of holding you and giving you all the kisses you could ever want. You've already made our lives sweeter and we haven't even held you yet. Oh, little boy of ours, we love you with all crazy-head-over-heels-nervous-butterflies-love, we really do.   And I'm praising Jesus right this minute for all the time we've already had together. Here's looking forward to whatever He has coming for our future together. 

Love, 

Dad & Mom