Learning, Adjusting & Loving

Early morning feedings. Washing more than just dishes in our sink  Multiple daytime naps. Juggling household chores + baby watching. Long evenings of trying to convince our little person that sleep is a good thing (we promise it is, buddy). Realizing that life hasn't stopped, just slowed down a bit and that it's all ok. 

Our lives have changed. 

I'm still a bit in shock that we're parents now; that this little person is ours to keep. Learning his needs and wants and personality has been quite the adventure. It's not always easy, but we've been given a holy gift in the form of Behr Owen and I'm humbled to be entrusted with him. 

Things are harder but more sweet than they were before. I'm somehow simultaneously aware of my ability for great love and great selfishness all at once. God is working here in our home and heart and that process can be quite messy at times. There have been tears and days of feeling defeated but Jesus is providing grace (and thankfully more sleep now). We're all still a bit shaky as we take these first steps as a family of three; it's all so new! But I can see that we're steadily moving forward and slowing figuring out what works for us. 

Obviously I don't have the same amount of free time on my hands that I did before. I don't have multiple hours to write and edit pictures for this blog or time to get the house to look just so. But what I do have time for is investing eternally in the life of my husband and son. It's something that I honestly (and to my shame) take for granted so much.  Forgive me, Jesus.  

Yesterday we went out to run some errands. Just an outing for the normal things, grocery shopping, grabbing some lunch, etc. I don't know exactly when it happened, maybe it was in the dairy aisle, maybe it was when I saw these pictures that Jonathan snapped of us before we left the house, but I began to feel this beautiful settling in my spirit. 

Things may be different, yes. Learning all this may feel like an awkward, clumsy experience at times, but this is my life now. The season of motherhood has begun and what a miraculously sacred gift it is. 

"And so we welcome this new season, whatever it may bring, because we must, because to press on as we have been doing hurts too much. Instead of fighting the changes and the transitions -- what if we leaned into them instead?"

-Emily Freeman